you know how some people say they need a few extra hours in their day so they can get stuff done or spend time doing stuff they enjoy or get more time alone with their kiddos? well, i need a few extra hours in my day just for sleep. oh, how i miss sleep!
when landon was co-sleeping with us, i slept fairly well. i went to bed at a decent time, only woke for a couple of night feedings (where, let's be honest, i usually fell back to sleep before he was done eating), got up and went to work, came home and repeat. with claire it's a completely different story.
claire doesn't like to go to bed unless i go to bed, it seems. i've tried implementing a schedule for her and it's worked once. that's it, one time. every time i try to put her to sleep on her own at night it seems to take forever for her to fall asleep and then once she finally does, it's only for a little bit and then for the next couple hours it's just me constantly running up and down the stairs trying to calm her down enough to fall back to sleep. or, she stays up with me and justin until we are ready for bed, in which case she inevitably falls asleep for a little power nap on one of us and then is wide awake when it's actually time for bed. and then for some reason, i don't sleep as well with her as i did with landon. i wake up to her every little move and noise and never fall asleep while she is nursing. i don't know if i'm just super paranoid or something but it's killing me.
i love sleep. like seriously, i looooove it. and i do so much better when i get lots of it. and let's face it, i'm not getting nearly enough as i need. just today, i was putting claire down for a nap this morning (fingers crossed she'll nap alone!) and i could feel myself falling asleep next to her. but i can't! i've got another kiddo that doesn't take a morning nap and i've got a monthly meal plan to make so i can put together a grocery list so we can have food in our house again. and so, i continue on with my day, half-awake half-asleep, bags under my eyes and a semi-horrible headache. but i do it, because i'm a mom, and that's the choice i made.
and that's all for today. thanks for listening. c;