02.19.13 | ON BEING PREGNANT A SECOND TIME

my 9 week ultrasound

it's hard. boy, is it hard. and scary and emotional and tiring and exciting and downright nerve-wracking. i mean, i knew it was going to be difficult. my pregnancy with landon was no piece of cake, by all means. and i kind of figured going into this one that it'd be just as troublesome. a different kind of troublesome though. 

this time around, i've only thrown up once. last time? basically every day. the whole time. i mean, i've felt pretty sick most days (thank you dramamine for making it possible to do stuff!) but definitely no where near as bad. the major difference? i'm tired. every day. all day long. literally. no matter what i do, or how much sleep i get the night before, or even during the day, i still feel like i am dragging my feet. it's a miracle if landon and i even get dressed out of our pajamas before changing into new ones for bed at night. (hence why dry shampoo has become my new best friend.) i'm pretty sure the main reason i'm more tired this time around is because i've got another little one to watch, not just my dog. so i'm taking care of myself, this new baby, landon AND ripley, every day, all day. that's four lives. and that's a lot. 

and then there's all this guilt. you know the kind: i'm gonna change my little guy's world here in a few months. he's not going to be my only child anymore. there will be TWO. (and that's also terrifying.) i know he's going to be fine; children adapt. i have three siblings and although my sister and i fought terribly when we were younger, i'm really proud of the relationship we have now. and even though landon's relationship might not be the same with his brother/sister as mine, i'm really really glad that i'm giving him the opportunity.

and that's that. i'll talk more about my pregnancy another day. shoot, maybe i'll even take a pregnant picture this time around. c; until then, i've got a little boy who wants to go through his space flashcards one more time today. and since that takes little energy, i'm happy to oblige. 

2 comments:

  1. love your honesty and your willingness to share. you're doing great, momma :)

    ReplyDelete

thanks for the input!