this picture has nothing to do with this post.
you know that moment when you hear your little one waking up over the monitor, so you quickly turn the monitor off to run upstairs so he doesn't keep on crying and then only to find out that once you're in the room with him, he's fast asleep? and then you reluctantly go all the way back downstairs because you really don't want to wake him up and as soon as you get all comfy on the couch with your blankie and start writing out a blog post or turn on the tv or whatever you had planned, he wakes right back up. and then, then you decide "ok, i'll just sit here for a minute and actually listen to the monitor to see if he's really waking up" and then you wait and realize he's actually waking up. so you drag your tookus back up off the couch and back up the stairs and into his room to find your little guy being a grumpy gus. and it takes everything in you to get him dressed for the day and you almost give up and then you see it - a spider.
and then you realize that you're the only one home to kill it. and you start to freak out a little bit. and by freak out, you start to shake a little and breathe really hard and scan the room for anything that you can use to kill it. and you settle on baby wipes. and not just one wipe, but two, because two wipes put that much more stuff between you and the gross thing that you have to kill. and you really don't want to feel the body. so you hold your little boy back with one arm, and summon the courage to smash the wipes on that disgusting being, pushing it into the wall. but then, then you have to summon more courage to pull your hand and the wipes back to check and make sure it's actually dead. oh the horror! well, luckily for you it is actually dead and you can throw it away.
so no sooner have you thrown the pile of wipes away into the diaper genie because, duh, but you turn around and there's some other bug crawling along the carpet! so you say to yourself "are you freakin' kidding me?!" and without even thinking, grab three wipes this time (because you have NO CLUE what kind of bug this is) and do the same steps you did with the spider, but faster, because this guy is crawling, fast. but when you pull the wipes away to check if it's dead, it's not! oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, is probably what you're thinking at this point. so you grab the sturdiest board book you can find in the room, throw that pile of wipes onto the bug and start smashing that book down with all of your might. and finally, after too many smashes to count, you summon that courage one last time to see if it's dead. and finally, it is. but this time, you throw this bug down the toilet because it's even grosser than a spider (how, i don't know) and you don't want that anywhere near your little guy.
and then you finish dressing your little boy and take him downstairs to watch a little 'team umizoomi' because you know you need to decompress from that awfulness that just happened so he must too, right? right. and you get him some raisins and his blankie and sit him right next to you on the couch, with your blankie, and settle down to share your story with the rest of the internet.
and that was your afternoon.