yep, i've come to the conclusion that my eczema is my worst enemy. and i'm very unhappy about it. you see, i've dealt with this irritating little skin disorder for my entire life. entire life, people! it hasn't been that bad until now. over the years, i've come to accept the fact that i have excessively dry skin and i don't help it at all by not using lotion or moisturizers or creams because i don't like that greasy feel most of them leave on my skin. so, i've learned to live with it: the itchiness, the little red marks/spots behind my knees and on the inside of my elbows. no big deal. until now, that is.
now? now i've got full-blown eczema. and from what i can gather (from the incredulous amount of information that i have found all over the internet) is that i have a specific form of it: dyshidrotic eczema. or, better known as, hand and foot eczema. and it sucks. it's probably the worst thing i've experienced in quite some time. heck, i'd even go so far as to say that i'd rather be in labor, giving birth to my almost 11-lb baby again instead of dealing with this. but, i'm not and i've got to deal with it, unfortunately.
i've got myself an appointment tomorrow with my primary doctor so hopefully she can confirm that i am correct about what form of eczema i've got and not tell me it's something completely different or worse. and that she can give me some more tips than the standby "keep your hands far away from water and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize". i've been keeping my hands far away from water recently, which means our dishes are piling up in the sink. and i'm pretty irritated by that fact, too. i've got some of those really awesome-looking dish gloves that i could use, if my hands weren't so irritated and painful, so i'm not. and i'd really, REALLY love a long, hot shower but that's out of the question, seeing as how i don't have any vinyl gloves that are lined with cotton, which i'm apparently supposed to use while in the shower. oh, and don't forget the fact that i need to throw out basically every shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion and hair product that has a fragrance in it. because, ya know, that irritates the skin too. so what am i left with? oh yeah, the cetaphil cream justin brought home from the store for me last night, the neutrogena eczema essentials cream that i bought a few weeks ago that sometimes, kind of, curbs the itching, a big 'ole tub of shea butter from bath & body works that i'd been using up until all of these stupid blisters started to form on my right fingers, some eucerin calming cream that makes my hands stop itching because it causes them to burn instead (yeah, not using that currently), and, well, willpower.
i'm hoping justin can go to the store for me again tonight, since i am in no means about to go out in public looking like i do, what with no face wash/moisturizer that i can use and not being able to shower or wash my hair. i just keep hoping and wishing and praying that this little flare-up will go away as fast as it came and that it'll look all better soon. and that i'll be able to sleep without worrying about if i'm going to wake myself up scratching my fingers. and that i'll be able to cut landon up his fruit without worrying about it irritating my skin. and i really, really hope that i won't have to deal with too many of these flare-ups in my life, because ya know, who really wants to take showers with gloves on? not me.